Setting for B&B (Bards & Ballads – Not a Bed and Breakfast Podcast) Campaign
In 2019, I invented this setting for a podcast whose premise was a campaign where all the Player Characters were bards. It never got past two sessions.
The Players
- Brian – Bruce Sprigtree (Human Bard) – middle-aged human musician who once toured with a band of minstrels called Bruce Sprigtree and the Dragonslayers.
- Che – Buran Buran (Half-Orc Bard) – half-orc who maintains a constant disguise of being a human in order to pass amongst a population largely hostile toward orcs.
- Lotta – Buno Mars (Halfling Bard) – Halfling nobleman and knight on the run from a personal family tragedy. Buno rides on the shoulders of his human retainer, Bodor, which is also the only word the man can say.
- Natasha – Stevie Sticks (Elf Bard) – native of Elfland and curious adventurer eager to see the world on the other side of the misty border between her world and Hyracanum.
- Talin – Eldon Jann (Halfling Bard) – Halfling ex-soldier from the Green Hills and student of the School of Swords.
Part 1: Getting the Band Together
November 25, 2019
Duke Loomitz of Ashwall is both a superstitious man and a patron of the arts. Situated on the edge of Elfland Forest, the city hosts a monthly celebration called Sylvanastra, when the veil between Hyracanum and Elfland is thinnest and Elves and Gnomes come to trade. To this century-long tradition the Duke has added a new one, the Lyricalia, a competition to find the best bard in the land which the Duke himself attends.
The Lyricalia began in the afternoon with bards spinning tales to wow the crowd. The second part of the competition was after sunset with the bards battling each other with words and wits. Buran Buran seemed to be clearly in the lead but before Duke Loomitz could announce the winner he was interrupted by his knight, Sir Edmore, and rushed away from the Lyricalia.
An hour later, all five of the bards were summoned to the castle for an audience with Duke Loomitz. His infant son, Loofitz, had been abducted by the hag Granny Greyhair. Believing these bards might be the prophetic Fabulous Five, Duke Loomitz commissioned them to go into Elfland, guided by their Elf companion, and rescue little Lord Loofitz.
Next dawn, Stevie brought the four non-fey into the dream-like plane of Elfland, where the adventurers came across three elves on their way to the Feymeet, a regular festival held by the Seelie and Unseelie Courts and presided over by Queen Titania and King Oberon. When told that the party was looking for Granny Greyhair and a baby she stole from the Humans, the elves concluded that the Hag was going to present the changeling to Queen Titania as a gift.
The adventurers moved quickly to intercept Granny Greyhair on her way to the Feymeet. They attempted a negotiation, presenting Buno glamoured to appear as a giant baby in exchange for little Lord Loofitz, but the Hag insisted only a child of noble birth would do for the Queen of the Fairies. Eldon then tried to steal the babe from Granny’s arms but failed, triggering a fight which killed one of the Hag’s goblins. Bruce quickly de-escalated things by trying his best to seduce the Hag. It worked only as far as defusing the situation, but she was intent on proceeding to the Feymeet with the baby.
Knowing that the Feymeet is forbidden to non-Fey attendees – under penalty of death – Bruce and Eldon were quite happy to accept defeat and leave alive, but Buran Buran was compelled to save the child by his Good nature and Buno was simply too curious to pass up the chance of sneaking into the ball. Stevie, being an Elf, would be their ticket inside.
It was decided that everyone but Stevie would disguise themselves as Fey and infiltrate the Faerie Queen’s ball. With a lot of luck, they might be able to find baby Loofitz and sneak him away. Without it, they all could die.
Part 2: In the Court of the Faerie Queen
December 15, 2019
The adventurers decided to use their disguise kits to pass themselves off as Fey so as to infiltrate the Feymeet, with the Halflings Eldon and Buno easily transforming into Gnomes while Buran and Bruce somehow managed to pass for Elves, albeit un-pretty ones. Bodor was put to sleep by his master, Buno, who then disguised the sleeper as a bush before joining the Faerie Queen’s ball.
On the way, the bards discussed what lay ahead. Stevie told them that all attendees are expected to arrive with gifts for both Queen Titania and King Oberon, but even just a bouquet of flowers would suffice. She also warned them not to eat or drink any fairy wine or cakes for such food will completely overwhelm any sense of discretion.
As they neared the lights and sounds of the Faerie Queen’s ball, the group was met by a team of Sprites who escorted them to the gift garden, where everyone’s gifts were held in check before the giving and, sure enough, the basket Granny Greyhair was carrying little Lord Loofitz in was among the treasures.
Ahead lay a clearing lit by fireflies and lanterns where Fey of all kinds frolicked and made merry, presided over by the Faerie Queen, Titania, on one side and the King of Shadows, Oberon, on the other. Stevie and Buno quickly located Granny Greyhair on King Oberon’s side of the festivities and got close enough for her to overhear them talk up a lie about her sister and rival Hag, Auntie Anomie, coming to the ball with a gift of her own: a little baby girl. This calculated gossip had the intended effect of sending Granny, who couldn’t help but eavesdrop, into a fuming rage and she stomped away from the party to intercept her sister.
The group moved quickly to the gift garden to see if they could grab the baby basket. Buno bluffed to the guards that he was one of Granny’s helpers and that she had sent him to retrieve the gift when she had to leave unexpectedly. The sprites believed the deception and the party walked away with little Lord Loofitz fast asleep.
Next, the adventurers needed to find a Fey Crossing to return to Hyracanum. The closest one Stevie could take them to was a bridge across the bog where the third Hag in Granny Greyhair’s coven of spiteful sisters, Nana Wartnose, lived. They would need to be very careful that the Hag didn’t get wind of the infant because no Hag can resist a baby, but they would need to have something to offer her for the use of her bridge.
As they approached the squat little hut beside the rickety bridge over the bog, the door flew open and Nana Wartnose glared at the party, demanding to know who they were. Stevie stepped up and declared their desire to go visit the Human world, and they wanted to use her bridge to get there. When the Hag asked what they had to offer, the bards presented a number of fairy cakes and wine they had lifted from the Feymeet – an event to which Nana had pointedly not been invited – and she was instantly won over, stuffing her mouth with irresistible fairy confections and letting the adventurers walk free.
The exit from Elfland brought the party back to the same day they had left, despite how long they had been there. They walked to the city gates and were immediately brought to the castle to deliver little Lord Loofitz to his father, Duke Loomitz of Ashwall, who was enormously grateful for the deeds of the party. This was confirmation of the prophecy about the Fabulous Five, according to him, and he announced that the next day there would be an official celebration and Buran Buran would be proclaimed the winner of the Lyricalia.
In the meantime, the bards checked into the inn for a long, well-earned rest.